She called me old

Last week, in the middle of teaching the super important difference between the 'their' and 'there', one of my students asked me a question she claimed she has been really anxious to know the answer to. 

Now, even before the question was asked, I was annoyed. Some of my students have the tendency to yell out mundane questions in order to get off topic. And I tell myself 'go, with it. They're sick of this, this is probably the only class when they can get away with this' ... but I can only go with it so far...

But then again, this girl is one of my favorites. She's smart, she's funny, and she is always outsmarting the boys in all sorts of sassy ways. Plus, she always comes with her tae kwon do uniform and black belt, which makes me have total and complete respect for the girl. She's 10, maybe 11. 

So now, to the super-mega-anxiety-inducing question: how old are you?

I remember how I was told once by someone that asking someone's age was considered rude. It's not something most people would feel comfortable answering, and it's not something people would usually question casually. The older I've gotten, the more I see how people fear their age. And I guess that makes sense. I have friends who dwell on their upcoming birthdays because of ... whatever it means, whatever that number brings. But what is that number, other than a marker to remind yourself and others of how long you've managed to succeed at living? Personally, that really is all that it means to me. 

But I understand why so many people around me get intimidated by their age.

There are so many expectations put upon us as individuals either by our parents, society, and more than anything by ourselves. We put deadlines to ourselves: "By the time I'm 20 I'll be/I'll do/I'd have done" for various reasons. Or we boost ourselves by reminding us of what we accomplished at earlier ages. I still share that story of how I placed 14th place out of 88 in a national English Language Test when I was 12. The feat in itself, I feel, is pretty fantastic, but there's just something about adding that number that just gives it a little oomph! 

And I'm not writing this out to say that it's wrong to do so. I love deadlines. They're challenging. But there is some sort of pressure to have done something by a certain age, isn't there? There are some expectations that make that number a really annoying thing to deal with. 

So back to this girl... she asked the question, and I answered truthfully.

"WHAT?!" she literally dropped her jaw
"Twenty-seven" and I wrote it out on the board because this class is terrible with numbers.
"Are you married?"
"No."
"WHAT?!" 

Now, I've had this lecture before... years ago from my Georgian co-teachers, and more recently to some of my peers back home and in the country. How could you not be married? You're getting to that point where you should be celebrating you're 3rd, 4th, 5th wedding anniversary! And honestly, these sort of comments have never really bothered me. 

But I've never gotten lectured on this topic by a tae kwon do black belt holder, 10, maybe 11 year old. 

"WHY NOT?!"
I shrugged my shoulders.
"You need to think of your age! You're old!" 
And at this point I just started laughing. She kept turning to the other students in the class and translating our conversation, but no one really seemed to share her shock and concern.
"You need to be married tomorrow!" 

Now, this was probably one of the highlights of the day. She was using correct English and she cracked me up. Every day since she asks me if I'm married yet, with genuine concern. 

I can't really say that it's a Korean thing, or a Georgian thing, or a non-Western thing, to be expected to be settled and married by [whatever age you want to insert in here]. I really feel like, even though these expectations (or maybe, if seem from another perspective, these goals) are set up by the society we live on, or by the nurture of our parents, they don't really mean anything unless we want them to, do they? Sure, we have this tendency of comparing where we are to where other people our age are in order to justify our choices.

I am grateful that I don't feel the pressure of age some other people do. I sympathize with it, but I am extremely grateful I don't carry that with me.

Honestly, it's just a number isn't it?

I'm not old. 

Island Paradise Fantasy; Check

September means one of the most important Korean holidays; Chuseok, or the closest thing to Thanksgiving that will ever be celebrated in this part of the world. I've always found it really interesting how holidays differ in each country, yet, no matter how different and unique they are, we try to understand it under what we are most familiar with. Chuseok is like Thanksgiving because, from what my students have told me, they eat a lot. And also, fun fact, wealthy people eat a lot of spam. But it also seems to be a time for the younger generation to pay respect to their elders, and other traditions I haven't really wrapped my mind around.

And I didn't stick around in order to experience it first hand. Which I wouldn't have regardless, because it really seems to be an extremely family oriented holiday. Not sure how a stranger messing up all the customs would fly. A small part of me does miss being absorbed fully in a community like I was back in Georgia, but these holidays give us long weekends and an excellent opportunity for a vacation. 

So the decision was made to finally make my island paradise fantasy come true and booked tickets to Palawan, one of over 2,000 Philippine islands. 

It has been over 10 years since I've been to a sandy beach, since I've swam in the open ocean. I have these memories of me as a child swimming under the waves with my mother, my father, but mostly with my grandfather. I remember him as a good swimmer, I remember him going deep into the ocean fishing for pretty shells because I liked them and I was always asking for more. I have very fond memories of the ocean and of the beach, so I was excited, anxious and so ready to get back there. 

We hired a boat to take us out to Honda Bay on our first day on the island. We had gotten there a little bit later than what we had anticipated, so instead of going to all of the five islands we opted for only 3 including Pambato Reef, which is station in the middle of the ocean where you can go snorkeling to see all the little fishes and the coral reef.

Now, remember how I said I was so anxious to get back to the ocean? Well, as soon as we arrived to our first stop (the reef), everything I had been holding back took over, and I just jumped right in. I saw several fishes there, and I was able to make out some of the coral reef below me. But just as quickly as I noticed these wonderful beauties of the ocean, I realized how much I couldn't see below me.

And then I started thinking of all the things that could and were possibly down there, and then I realized how deep it was and a very new sense of fear overtook me.
Now, as I wrote that I feel a little bit stupid. See, I wasn't rushing to swim back into the platform, I wasn't really panicking. It was unexpected because I had never really thought of the ocean as scary; I've seen documentaries, huge fan of Blue Planet here, and I've always been fascinated and intrigued, but I never associated the ocean with fear. And I guess it was really foolish on my part to ignore the fear that goes hand in hand with the mystery, but at that moment when I jumped into the open sea it became way too real.
I would go back to the ocean anytime, I'm not terrified, but now I have much more respect for the sea and all the creatures, seen or unseen.

Other highlights from the Honda Bay were drinking out of a coconut (seriously, island paradise fantasy, no joke), and a deserted island. I think it had something to do with the fact that we started island hopping too late, or that there was a chance of rain (but at the end of the day there was none!), but there were no people on the second island we went. The captain of our motorboat, Juju, told us he would go collect clams on the other side of the island and meet us later, so we walked around the island and realized that there was absolutely no one there. It couldn't have been more perfect.

Other than the islands, we spend a good chunk of time exploring the town; Puerto Princesa. One of the things that I noticed immediately when getting to Puerto Princesa was how tropical it is; it is lush with green, green, green everywhere. I immediately fell in love with the feel and lushness of it. There was a madness of trikes (oh my gosh, more on than later!) driving everywhere and anywhere they pleased, a madness of pimped, banana trees... and poverty. A real and raw part of the world, poverty.
But again, more on than later. Much more on that later.

Another thing that Palawan gave me was the chance to get to see wildlife close and personal. We took a trip to one of the 7 Natural Wonders of the Earth (or chosen back in 2011), the Subterranean River; an insane collection of caves, a house of bats and just hands down, a total beauty. I can't really wrap my mind around the size of the caves, the creativity of nature in its creations. You'd really think it's all done on purpose, seriously. And the amount of bats that dwell in there - tiny little things, just hanging. Literally, hanging off the cave's roof and walls. On the way out of the caves, we were greeted by around 4 to 5 monkeys, macaques.
After the caves we also went to a mangrove, the perfect habitat for a variety of birds, monitor lizards, snakes and possibly crocodiles (when asked, the locals literally said 'We can not answer that question').
All in all, getting to see these animals in their own habitat was one of the highlights of this trip. It was a gift I treasure, and an addicting feeling.

Palawan is very much a lovely island and I'd love to go back and see more of it. It is, however, extremely catered to tourist and at first it was something that made me really uncomfortable. However, I still felt a sense of adventure and getting to go out into the islands, into the cave, getting to explore a new and wonderful place. It was a very new and unique place for me, and a trip I am very grateful I decided to take.

We didn't spend all of our days in Palawan, however, and decided to give ourselves a day to explore the capital city of the Philippines.

There were only two things I knew about Manila:
1) It is considered one of the most dangerous cities in Asia
2) A stunning drag queen is named after the city

It was a shock getting out of the airport through doors manned with armed guards. But then, I had to remind myself that this is a country where their newest president just declared war on their drug problems by giving the authority to anyone to shoot and kill anyone who is breaking the law. There are a lot of people that believe that this is the only way to fight the drug war, since other ways have been tried before and failed. I really don't know how to feel about it, not exactly. One thing I can say for certain is that big things are in the making for this country - but for now, it's all a bit messy, a bit dangerous, a bit scary.
Manila wasn't as welcoming as Palawan, but I enjoyed the drive to our hotel, getting to see the buses, the trikes and the buildings. There's something very un-Asian about this city - it looks more Spanish than anything, and I was taken back to my dear, dear Mexican streets. Something that was also heavily present in Manila that I had grown up around was poverty.

Remember I said I would come back to this, right?

I remember beggars sitting outside of church, from the youngest you can imagine to the oldest, I remember houses that looked like dumpsters on the drive to school. It's not a pretty sight, it's heartbreaking, but it's ... part of this world. This shockingly beautiful and at the same time horrible world. I saw barefooted children in Manila; I saw a mother sleeping, cradling her toddler over a cardboard box on the sidewalk in Manila; I saw a man sleeping on top of a demolish site in Manila; I saw a family of six sleeping under a bridge in Manila. And I saw all this on the way or surrounding the nice hotel that we decided to stay in; a hotel were they opened the door for you and called you 'sir' and 'm'am', a hotel were men in fancy business suits would walk in and out. And although I really have no misconceptions of how terrible poverty can be, I was really shocked by the rawness of it.

I found myself feeling guilty for being there; a very affortunate individual, lucky enough to have a job that provides the money to take a vacation to this city. I found myself feeling extremely ashamed of being there in the position I was in when comparing it to the locals. And yet, we were greeted by many people on the streets, many saying 'Welcome to Manila!", warm people. I still didn't feel completely safe, and for the first time in a really long time I was constantly conscious of where I had everything (phone, money, wallet), but it did warm me to see some of those children that I labeled 'less fortunate' to be playing and laughing and running in their own playground.

I believe it's very important to open expose yourself to everything this world has to offer: from its natural beauties to all the wonders we, as a human race have created;  I believe it's important to be aware of our world. Manila gave me a lot to think about and for that I'm grateful. Manila was both a refreshing unasian-while-still-in-Asia trip and an unexpected punch in the gut. Manila was both harsh and incredibly welcoming. Manila was nothing I expected. Manila reminded me that traveling isn't always pretty, isn't always catered, and in fact, it's not supposed to be. And although the sights aren't always breath taking on the road, I never want to stop.