Meditations

This is an idea I stole from a really good friend of mine, about a year ago. He used to write these "meditations" where he would just go deep into something that intrigued him, bothered him, made him curious and just wrote anything and everything that came into his mind.

Or maybe that was how I read it, but he's got more structure than I do when it comes to writing.

But that is a type of writing that I learned from him that I haven't done in a long time. A type of writing that I really enjoyed doing. I would get my little notebook and just get on with it, write anything and everything that came into my mind, and I loved it.

Lately, what I've been writing on a regular basis is my best and worst of the day, budgeting, lists of all sorts, budgeting and more budgeting. And I'm kinda disappointed by that. Back when I used to write on a daily basis, creatively and actively, I used to come up with things that I could be proud of - things I would take to other and ask them to read them over, to get critiqued over - I used to write things that would make me excited, excited to keep writing.

Gosh, it has been so long.

I am happy that I have this blog, but this isn't the place to write how I used to. This isn't where I would write my stories. And maybe that's my mistake, maybe I should get over this idea of what blogging is supposed to be, of what a blog should have and just write whatever the hell I want to write.

But it's in my notebooks. That's where I need to get back on - get over being obsessed with money and get back to my stories, get back to getting stuck in my head and writing everything out.

I once wrote about spending too much time thinking. Not a good thing, never a good thing. But one of the best 'meditations' I ever wrote. It relaxed me. Spending too much time thinking is when things stop being wonderful... it's when they stop being. I tend to over analyze any possible angle of a situation, of a theme, of an idea or of a feeling and then I ruin it. I stop feeling in the way things and experiences should be felt.

About 6 years ago I took a college class that changed my perspective and that changed my life. (Thank you, Professor Pipkin) and the most important thing that I got from that class was to let yourself be overwhelmed with emotions and know that you can experience something new everyday but those experiences stop becoming new immediately after. And that is life. But an old experience carries just as much of an emotion as a new one, if not even more. Depending on how you think about it.

I want to go back to being inspired by thoughts like that.
I'm getting back on it.