The Struggle is Real; Coming to Terms with Presence

I have always been plagued by thoughts.
I've always believed that the ability to think and to make sense of our surroundings, our emotions and ourselves is what propels us to the top of the evolutionary chart. I mean, it is something that sets us apart from other beings in this beautifully complex world, right?

For the most part, I enjoy thinking; I enjoy dissecting my life to the point where I try to make sense out of everything that engulfs me. As soon as something awakens a feeling in me, I stop and think about what it means, whether it's something positive or negative. Letting a feeling just take over without letting my mind be involved happens rarely. But I guess, since I've always been used to thinking, I've never really considered myself as missing out on anything. 

But I've been introduced to the world of Eckhart Tolle recently, and that has all changed.

What this man preaches is, honestly, very simple. But I'm finding it extremely hard to truly put it into action. And that makes perfect sense - I'm trying to make sense, again, out of something that doesn't need to, out of something that simply means to be.

Last weekend we attempted our 9th mountain in Korea, and something struck me while on our hike out. We passed by a temple on the way up, and even though I have seen plenty of temples in Korean (and China) I couldn't help but to stop and wander around for a bit.
You see, here's what happens. After seeing so many of, what I consider to be, the same thing, you can't help but to lose interest. How many times have I heard others, as well as myself say "You've seen one temple, you've seen them all" and totally meaning it? 

But there was something different about this time. Nothing necessarily about the temple stood out; it was beautiful and humble, like most are. But something struck me while wandering around; something that hasn't struck me in a really long time. 

I'm currently living in Asia. Right now. The abundance of temples is something that doesn't exist back home, not like this anyway. And then I pushed the thought out of my mind, and I stopped thinking all together and just was. 

It wasn't easy, you see... sometimes I catch myself thinking of the most insignificant things like my socks not matching my shoes, or the fact that I need to sweep the apartment, or going through countless of unnecessary to-do lists 24/7. I'm so accustomed to thinking that even now I am trying to make sense of this new 'stop thinking' deal. It honestly beats the whole purpose.

But for a couple of minutes I got it. And I had never really felt so peaceful and content. I just observed and I felt without a thought. And I realized that by not thinking, I allowed myself to truly feel what it's like to be a part of this beautifully complex world. We don't have to be looking for meaning, it's already there - you just have to let it happen.

I'm still very unsure of how to truly live my life with this new concept of presence. Even right now, as I understand how unnecessary it is to dwell on it and try to make sense of it, I struggle. I understand what it is. I get it. But it's so difficult. Still, I'd love to be able to live like this more consciously.

I know that I'll never stop thinking. About the future, about what bothers me, about what makes me happy, about what I want, about it all. But I'd like to feel more. I'd like to be more aware of just feeling, of just being.